yah, I know, I know these self portraits are starting to look like desperate 14 year olds on Myspace. Oh well, what am I supposed to do, put on a pilgrim dress and act OLDER. gross. EW.
speaking of pilgrims, so very glad they found that cult leader warren jeffs guilty of child rape. what a flippin sicko. lock him up and throw away the key. took the jury 3 hours. I guess its safe to say the TX justice sys works. :)
Things that I'm over:
the heat (it feels like I'm driving my stove)
the word 'budget' - if 'budget' were a tangible item, I would have long since destroyed it in a trash can fire, as I do every other thought or idea that suffocates the life out of me
not getting enough time w/ my lil fam. I hate M's hours. I'm sick of them. So is he, but we are a slave to our BELOVED BUDGET so not much to do about it. PLUS, I've been working more. I can't stand being away from my two daughters and son. I hate that life has us pulled in 42 directions. Somehow, I don't think we are living our best life, just sayin.
dealing w/ the accident case. here is to hoping I wrapped things up. I went to my final chiro exam, with 3 kids in tow yesterday. Today I faxed a letter and couple other things to the attorney. I got to get all fired up writing about my experience and how my summer was ruined by the moron who hit me May 31, 2011. Yah, I know I'm normally very optimistic and positive, but this is just one of those blogs....where I'm not.
now yall know I love my people a lot but I got antagonized by not just ONE but TWO people regarding politics. Ok, heres the big, f-ing deal- Yes, I voted for Obama, b/c I effen felt like it. He moved me to tears in his speeches, which says a lot. However in the grand scheme of things, I am not educated enough on terror of politics to hold a conversation. Therefore, if you are walking up to me, it better be to ask me how the Britney Spears concert was or what shade of lip gloss I'm wearing. Please do not got me riled up about politics, b/c I don't care who the hell is in charge- I AM ONE PAYCHECK OR LAY OFF FROM BEING HOMELESS, YET MICHAEL IS PROBABLY ONE RAISE OR JOB CHANGE FROM BUMPING US UP OUT OF MIDDLE CLASS. Until then, I don't have anything nice to say. Congrats if you are a part of the lower class getting everything for free. I know your life isn't always easy, but I also know you don't take anxiety meds b/c you have a 4k hosp bill hanging over your head. And super congrats if you upper class b/c a 4k hosp bill wouldn't be a big deal now would it. I don't care I don't care I do NOT care about politics. I'm currently in survival mode. I am an on duty mother 24/7 and I love it, but I'm now also a part time worker girl. I'm trying to keep head above water, pay crap off, plan meals, BUDGET, and pray for a better future. So F politics and shame on the next person who wants to start something w/ me. I certainly don't care what anyone else thinks, politically, or really, in general. I really don't. I don't have time to pass judgement and I guess I didn't get that "i give a crap" gene.
*however, professionally speaking, of course I care. I wouldn't be in the field I am in, if I didn't care about people.
OK
Things I love
- my job- my new old job- in a shaky economy- we are really actually quite blessed. So while I would not want to be full time, the hours I have been working, have been a blessing.
- being home w/ my children. every morning, day in and day out waking up to their smiles and faces and cries and fightin- all of it- is MY treasure. Its like all my life I was on the hunt for immaculate happiness. I had no idea I'd have 3 babies. They are my life. I love raising them, holding them, kissing them, just being in the same room with them. I love when we let them sleep on our floor and I get to stare endlessly at them sleeping peacefully. And I sorta love it when it I check on Anderson and his squeaky door wakes him and I HAVE to pick him up. Sigh...call me crazy but I think I could take M and the kids and live on a deserted island. I mean as long as I have a cell phone and internet, I'd be fine.
- my friends- did you know Amber watched Anderson while I worked for two days and sent me home w/ stew one night and ck noodle soup the next night b/c I was fighting a terrible cold. shes a keeper. I have the kinds of friends who let me be me and who lift me up. Tell me how Kelli always has the best things to say when I'm drowning in bleh emotion?
-my family- everyone should have one like mine. truth is- i don't have a lot in common w/ my sisters-- meaning if we were all strangers- me, jess, amy, kristyn- but i love them with all that i have. yall know kristyn was my first baby. remember, we don't tell 5 year old candice that she can't be a momma.
I love the way Anderson dances to music. Everyone should dance like that.
I love the way Ashlee carries a conversation w/ a lot of 'well' and 'like'
I love the way Brookelyn gets excited about Albertsons Yatzee game.
I love the way Michael tells me "You're not a failure, You do a lot of good things" and then scrambles to list it all off. Apparently I keep a clean house and I'm a good mother. So original. Does this look like 1967? Does it look like I'm wearing a plaid apron?
No.
It's 2011. I wear Yoga pants. But, he has a point, I do keep a clean house and I am a good mommy. I suppose it is enough to hear "You are not a failure"
However- here are a few pointers if you are trying to make a case in just how I'm not a failure.
"Candice! You make more than min wage, quite a bit more, you are not a failure"(but he makes my wage times 4, or something.
"Candice! You graduated at the top of your class at a prestigious college, on the Deans list and you graduated before I did" (thats true, I played around for a couple years and beat him at graduation by 4 months. however, he got the harder degree fr a college everyones heard of in a field that actually pays the bills.
"Candice! You look 23 not 33" (never gonna believe it but he can say it at least!)
"Candice- you are brilliant beyond words, I'm not sure how your brains and beauty haven't earned us millions) What? Too much?
