Just another great pic of my super awesome children. Yah, I said it- perfect babies. In a way it is the most scary place I've ever been. My heart cut in 3s, walking around outside my body. They are so vulnerable, anything could happen. So while hoping that I'm not just waiting for the world to cave in, I bask. Let me bask. Imma do me.
This was taken at the Water Gardens. Hard to believe the place never changes, but that is kind of the cool part of it. I have pics of me as a baby and things look the same, and never mind the 2400 other times I have been. Visit another city, they probably have nothing like it. I was telling M, it would takes the jaws of life to get me out of this area, this city. It is one constant I have always been able to rely on- which is a big deal when change has been the theme-
Finally got waterpark passes but not where we usually do. Yah, we're so cool we have a few choices. The one we picked is just as close, has indoor and outdoor and even a kids care i can utilize and a gym, but I have a gym...but something different until last day of Aug, so should be fun.
I decided to focus on only one unit at my job, which is my ol trusty, comfy, security blanket unit, the kind of work I can do in my sleep-yes crisis intervention. It's not for everyone but getting paid to help others, well kind of like icing, b/c I already love to help. I do want to do work at the other unit but juggling things on my full plate has become difficult. So we'll see how things go, I'm just taking it day by day. Plus, I don't want to rob the girls of a fun summer and I could easily do so if I only focused on over training.
Went out w/ Stacey last night and we laughed and laughed. There are many times over the years where she has felt closer than a friend, more like a sister. We just never EVER bicker or have anything negative to say to each other. Neither of us are really moody w/ the other. Kinda weird b/c women in general are so moody, its almost an odor. When we met when we were 19, her 18 actually, it was like love at first sight. How many friends do you have that you know you can say whatever and they just don't have a judgemental word? Let me answer for you- not many. And finding normal people to associate becomes harder as ya get older too. I don't want to try to find common ground with people. It is either there or not. One of the reasons we do not visit churches is b/c I can only do so much BS chit chat before my anxiety rushes, and before you know it I'm in the car diggin for a Britney cd and calling a real friend. I am the worst faker ever. "Hi how are you, my name is Candice, these are my blah blah blahs, yes uh huh, no kidding, your son was born september 4th, get out!, yes born and raised here, yah, I love it too, oh yes the heat a bit much, how about that ice storm in feb, yah no school for a week, it was crazy, mmmhmm I stay home with my banshees (oops crap, thats where I mess up and let the real me seep out) I mean angels,my blessed angels, I stay home with my lil miracles from God"
That IS how I feel about them but I don't talk that way on a regular basis. I guess I'd visit a church if I could come in, carrying a spatula in case Ashlee needs a verbal warning from it, just the idea of a spanking is usually enough but how crazy do I look when I run and get it??? I'd like to be able to walk up to my church family and say "Michael is pissing me off with all his extra work, can you put me on your flippin prayer list before I head for the hills?" or "my kids fought all morning over a toy covered in mud they found in the street, is there an adoption agency in this building?" or "I'm out of meds, please don't talk to me unless you are giving me a cup of coffee, and definitely don't ask for money, I'm out of that too, hence the meds issue"
Totally joking, sorta. :)
Did you know it was so hot today that when we got back in from being out, I drank a liter of water in like 0.2 secs. Then I nearly barfed. I should know better than to think I'm tough. I can only do heat in water. I came home, changed out of sweaty clothes, turned down ac and didn't move, I'm still doing that- not moving. Now M is making me gin/tonics b/c I'm kinda burnt out on his margaritas. Yah him making us drinks, its how we bond and look better looking to one another. Hes on his computer, I'm on mine til it dies, then I suppose I'll rejoin the children downstairs, feed their faces w/ whatever I can find, I'm out of almost everything, and then watch t.v. Did you know Stacey doesn't watch TV? Thats how I know shes weird. Neither does Amber really now that I think about it. The next time M threatens to cut off my satellite to save on money, I'll have to threaten to cut something else off. I would attack the DISH satellite person who dared to cut me off. You ever see a fiend need a fix? And don't judge me. I'm on my feet most of the day, singing songs that make me look crazy, changing diapers that should make me heave, wiping up spills-- all the while trying to maintain beauty. It isn't fair that M come home to scum so I try to have a face on and I try to be out of PJ pants. LOL. ok, that last part, not that true.
I have to pee again, apparently a liter of water hits the bladder fast and hard.
