Hold the applause, Imma let your finish after I blog. I had a blog nearly finished and then lost it. Apparently two monitors at work isn't enough. Yep, back at it, old job. Imagine waking up from a 18 mo. coma and trying to rollerblade. I could use some w-d 40 in the creases of my brain. However, don't ask how I remember all the hospital phone numbers. Rain Man = me. So, yes working means, random self portraits in the cubicle, in the restroom, in the elevator, and possibly a fake fall down on the stairwell. You. Can't. Wait.
Becca and I saw Nicki Minaj and Britney Spears about a week ago. We ended up so close to stage that Britney's mom and sons were directly behind us. It was all so fun and surreal. We already had great seats on the floor but thanks to Becca's ballsy-ness, we ended up in 1k seats. What the? All I have to say, if I die, I'm comin back as a gay man. Nicest, funnest people EVER. Straight girls are just moody and uptight and then theres straight men with their self entitlement. How about YOU pick up your socks and wash that plate you ate off for a change. HA. Thats ok, being a 1960s housewife suits me, as long as it's still ok to take sedatives in the middle of the day. Your granny not goin to admit it, but Valium was termed Mommys little helper in the 60s. You think your grandma really vacuumed the house, cooked 3 meals a day 7 days a week wearing skirts and heels, ironing sheets and towels (wtf?)- all with a dang lipstick smile WITHOUT a little help.
Lucky for me, those standards don't exist in Candyland.
In dec. stac and i plannin our big tori concert. Merry Torimas to MEEEEE. It will be beautiful and I am so excited.
Heres what I have managed to do while at work for my first 'real' shift: knock the florescent light down in my cubicle WHILE on a call- it sort of sounded like a car wreck. My coworker yelled from another room. "YOU ok??!?!?" I couldn't really scream back "YAH I"M fine, just a moron". The person on phone said nothing but I know she heard it.
Then I managed to pee all over myself in the restroom. Yes, wheres my cam phone when I need it?! Well it looked a lil dirty so I didn't want to sit on it, thus, an 8 prong sprinkler system was set off. Don't worry, I'm not scum, I cleaned myself, the floor and potty completely. Lets face it, theres only a couple of us, not hard to figure out who did THAT!
Then I heated up some oatmeal for dinner and gagged upon first bite. Hey Candice, replace the oatmeal more than once a decade. DISGUSTING. I scraped that barf in the trash. I'm not hungry anyway, and if I get hungry, thats what Central Market is for- for spending all the money I'm making on this shift on one meal.
So, great start.
I've also chosen to sit in the room with no windows. I find it soothing, but that also means its like 10pm the whole time I'm here. I love the seclusion and privacy though. They didn't have this room when I worked here last. Well, it existed, but for a different unit. I didn't want you thinking they constructed a room w/ no windows while I've been gone. Kinda odd.
Now I'd like to quote Bridesmaids "Stove, what kind of name is Stove, what are you, an appliance?"
"It's Steve"
