Not apologizing, this pic is cute.
Lets get this funny shhhhh started.
Things I think are funny:
mega old people- I can't help it. I mean just the other day, Stacey was on her 6 mile walk and some old man stretched and looked at her and all she saw was sweaty balls. oooooooooooh gross old man, put that nast up.
pet condolences cards- I've been known to take pics of such cards in local Hallmarks, giggling out loud all alone. I'll let you know when I give a damn that an animal has passed when you can say you've been through a traumatic HUMAN loss. Lets compare notes.
*disclaimer- its not about you. (everyone thinkin I hate their pets, idiots, I have pets too- I even have a black cocker next door at Pams. Love that freakin dog. He paws at my front door wanting Ashlee. He is part human and man he loves his momma. Pam gets a card someday.
In the same category- apology cards-- Do people really need cards to help them say 'I'm a sorry a$% and I screwed up and I know I have to wait- for your moody butt to get over it'
Gangster rap- while it might be my anthem in the gym, listening, I mean really listening to the lyrics makes me LOL. "you think i'm the first rapper to smack a b or say f$%$%et' loooord
so the other day stac, lauren and i stayed in Kristyn and Kellys guest house. I went in to brush my teeth. Found some toothpaste in a funny white tube but it clearly say enzymic toothpaste, maybe it was RX i thought. i started brushing and noticed the lack of flavor. Glanced at it again, it said POULTRY FLAVORED.
Stacey said, OMG thats dog toothpaste. We both fell to the ground crackin up. I mean we could not breathe we were laughing so hard. Who the heck keeps dog toothpaste RIGHT next to toothbrush holder. My sister, thats who. Furthermore, who is actually brushing their dogs teeth.????
this incident happened after the fake rat hidden in cabinet scared the wicked out of Stac. She screamed, I screamed, and baby A started balling. crazy thing is, that fake rat already scared me two weeks prior but how am i supposed to remember that and then warn my friend not to open a cabinet. yes, my brother in law thinks he is hilarious. He even had it rigged to an invisible string so that the stupid rat moved when Stac opened cabinet. That was an extra feature he added since my scare a few weeks ago.
Not a lot to report that readers do not already know, yes all 2 of my readers. M works, a lot. I cook, clean, do laundry and basically just maintain being fabulous. B is in hip hop class at the same cheer gym. A.M is in cheer. It's off season, but still have class to keep the skillz up. Baby a.m is being adorable and beating his sisters in being mobile. He wants to get going and be a part of all the action so bad. A mother blinks and a baby isn't a newborn and then blink again, they are sassy mouths beggin for cookies and choc milk at all hours. By the time Anderson can talk, I will have fully mastered the art of selective hearing. My ears only turn on if they hear "blood, fire, toilet over flooded, not breathing" any other words go completely unnoticed. So feel free to beat each other up, as long as a fire or blood is not involved.
Ashlee has actually asked me, "why hasn't our house ever catched on fire" and I say b/c thats bad and I don't want it to. "Yah, but WHY hasn't it ever catched on fire". OK, Pyro- enough is enough, cut to the chase, are you plotting on burning this crapper down? Don't tease me. While we are on the topic of bad things, don't tease me about stealing my car and setting it on fire too.
