This is an oldie but a goodie of Brookelyn and Kennedie. Aren't they sweet?
It is Saturday morning. The girls are in Dallas til tomorrow. I dropped Michael off at the airport this morning. He is flying to Houston to pick up the car we are purchasing. His previous boss and wife are being so incredibly kind, we had to jump on this or else I would have been faced with taking Michael to and from work. No thank you. I'm doing good to get the girls places. Also, it is such a huge help to me that Michael takes Miss B to school. I feel queasy in the mornings, but believe it or not, I feel worse in the evenings. Lunch time I feel my best. I've been eating a lot of fast food which is not really like me, but I'm sort of too blah to make my own lunch or just glad that something, anything sounds good to eat. However, when I don't eat out, I make a lot of mac-n-chs. Yesterday I made a tuna sandwich. I'm not worried about wt gain, I guess because I've always lost weight during pregnancy. Usually around 20 lbs. However, if I can reverse that this time, I will gladly be a whale if it means not spending 8 more months in total distress with my head in the toilet. My weight, my body imagine, can all take a back seat. I'm eating less these days and I've lost 2 lbs but like I said, I will gladly gain weight in exchange for being happy. I have the rest of my life to work out, diet, etc. Right now I'm in survival mode. There are some days when all I have eaten is a fish sandwich from mcds and scittles and lemon chills.
I had a sono on Thursday. I was impressed that I was in and out relatively fast! I saw and heard the heart beat. That is insane, hearing it that early but the wand with the camera, apparently has sound and I couldn't believe it. How could something so small create sound? When I saw the heart beat, for an instant I wished Michael was there too. It is miracle-like to see that. It sparked my first real emotion about this whole thing, and I felt like a protective mother. I was thinking, "i don't know who the heck you are, but I'm your mom so we're in this together" Those were pretty much my exact thoughts as I'm wiping the gooey gunk off of my girl parts from the vaginal sonogram and putting my clothes back on.
We are making a lot changes. This last week was A's last MDO week. I had paid up through Jan. I still have mixed emotions about this but overall feel ok about it. We have lots of friends and family, this child should never hurt for social interaction. By end of Feb Miss B will be out of her tumble class. We just need a break! We go and go! She will still be in cheer, that is year round. We have one more competition in March. Then it will be off season til fall. Cheer has become a second family to us. I think Ashlee will be in it next season which could be very exciting. People joke with me saying Ashlee has cheer in her blood (you know by the way she acts all loud and hyper!) LOL.
Our only family vacation will probably be the one with my fam. Last year they took us all to New Braunsfels. It was so wonderful. It was a nice chance to all be together because the way life gets away from us the rest of the year is crazy. I really want to go to Port Aransas when Stac and Jeff and fam go BUT it may not be the year for it.
We have a lot to talk about with respects to my job. I'm not the bread winner but my income is nice for Target splurging, and eating out. It is a nice addition....but if I'm being honest...I don't know how I'm suppose to deal all week with feeling blah and going to sleep at 830pm, barely able to see Michael and then all I look forward to is work on the weekend. Then, the thought of leaving Michael home w/ 3 kids on the weekends....I'm just beginning to think money isn't everything. My degree doesn't expire and my career is always out there and some day my babies won't be babies. It is a lot to think about but you probably know which way I'm leaning. I can't help but think about the things we could do as a family again, and going out to Kristyn's for a little R&R, visiting jessica in Abilene, play dates with friends who work all week! Who knows, maybe Michael would let me get him a season pass to the water park so he can go too this summer! The girls would absolutely love it. (so would I)
That is all I have for ya! Stay tuned for more edge of your seat blogs!
