Above you will see a pic of a pic. I'm at work, uploaded my new pics I took on to my laptop but of course I only have internet on the work computer. That poses a problem, so I snapped this pic w/ my phone camera and sent it to my email. Ah, gotta love technology.
Let me tell you, I got some VERY cute pictures out at Riri and Uncle Kelly's (my sis and bro in law's place out in the sticks of Granbury!)
We took several family ones too and I'm excited about those as well. There are several that I feel good about. Am I carrying weight I shouldn't? Yes. I can hear my Granny, "it's that mexican food Candice". Ha. I can't even argue w/ the granny voice in my head. She is right dang it! But- in my defense it is also the pasta, starbucks, and cookies, but whatev, who is counting?
I actually was and am a member of a gym. I go semi-regular but often just to stroll on the treadmill and then get a little tan in the booth. I stepped it up this week and felt like I was getting sick on Friday. All of this running around, errands, cleaning, and then amping up the gym, complete with red bull....it caught up with me. At one point on Friday I was laying down wrapped up in a blanket watching Oprah. I hate laziness. I hate being lazy b/c it makes me feel like I'm not making good use of my time and I feel lazy at work...but what could I do, I felt run down. However by Saturday morning I was good to go again! B and I went to Kennedie's bday celebration at a CUTE kid's bowling alley! So fun! B said she wants a party there next year. Haha. What girl, you got a problem with a party at the house....ok you got a point, maybe not 3 years in a row.
After that, we went back home, packed up, dogs and all, to head out to Kristyn and Kelly's to spend the night. Jeff, Stac and kids met us out there. We did family pics in the most beautiful scenery you can get for free in Texas! It is just raw, gorgeous nature, no landscaping, just the canvas of a picture perfect Christmas card. Hehe. I am so thankful for Kristyn, Kelly, Kelly's family for having this wonderful retreat that me and my family get to enjoy. Kelly grilled hot dogs and hamburgers. I made my white trash fudge (it's like 3 ingredients and made in like 2 minutes). Then we all headed to see J and S's new house(well a year or so ago they moved there) and what a beautiful home! Ashlee and Nolan passed out. Brookelyn and Kylie were playing on the computer but then B started getting ridiculously tired. We made it back to the ranch around 11. We crashed hard!! In the morning Kristyn made coffee, one of my favorite things to do with her. I drink it alone everyday, it's so nice to have someone to chat with! She is such a sweet hostess, always makes us feel like it is our home too. I thanked Michael for doing this for me b/c I said even if it was just a for one little overnight, it is important for us to escape our house, our duties....
Kelly and Kristyn vaccinated the dogs. In 3 weeks we do it again. Right after xmas rabies from vet and a fecal test. Glad Kristyn is guiding me through this. The pups so loved the country, but not enough to run away. They just chilled by the house, played with the other dogs. It is sort of surprising to me how they are not that big of a pain in my arse.
This evening Ashlee went to Dallas to spend a couple nights w/ mimi and papa. She has been so challenging for me lately so I'm sure this little break will do us both good. Although, I miss her, and B, every second I am not with them. I can't help them. I love my kids, shoot me gah.
I feel as though I am constantly standing up for Ashlee. I know I've said it before. I feel judged as a mother. I feel like others are judging her behavior. She isn't bad, just harder! She is THREE! I am one person and I do my best but I've been told 'she did THAT and all you did was put her in a room for a min or two'. Well, what the crap am I supposed to do? Smack her butt? Done it. Yell, scream, flip out, done and done......it comes down to this...we ride this out and if she is always a little more spunky and challenging...we just deal. I am just glad she isn't retarded. I mean come on folks, she has all of her toes and fingers so shut up if she seems "bad" to you. She is my baby and I dare anyone to challenge this mother bear! A parent is always going to defend THEIR child. Believe me when I say, I challenge those who have questioned my parenting, yes, they shut up then. It's so cute when people want to judge and then so much cuter when you dish it back. I'm not mean about it, just like hey, what did YOU do when YOUR precious child did etc..
If you are a parent, judging comes w/ the territory. There is enough self blame, self shame that goes on w/o others who may have their two cents. I will be blaming myself until I am dead of every imperfect thing B or A does. It is all so unrealistic. Life didn't come with a manual. All that I know for sure is that I ultimately know nothing. I know a lot about stuff that doesn't matter and I know very little about the things that DO matter. I know that my girls are happy and that when they giggle, I giggle. I know that when Ashlee says "I made this picture for my momma" I tear up. I know that my heart grows when Brookelyn announces things like, "Can you believe it Mommy, I'm in the 'I can tie my own shoes club'". Of course I can believe it, you are a genius like your parents. :). I know that I am proud when I hear Michael tell the girls to say sorry to me, or thank you to me, or to give me a hug for a yummy dinner. Yes, proud, all of this is not for nothing. It is all for something. I know I am thankful for us being healthy. You don't know to be thankful for it until you see someone else's child so sick or you hear about a death on the news, or maybe it happens to you, and then you think 'shouldve been thankful for those happy, healthy days'. I know that I place value of people and feelings instead of shallow wants. None of this 'i'll be happy when...' No, I'll be happy now and the other stuff, it can come too and it can make things just that much more rad.
p.s I had a squirrel killed. Yah, I called the mob. Well, ok set out rat poison and put a flea fogger in the crawl space above my kitchen. So I do not confirm or deny how or what actually killed him. I threw that fogger up in there, tripped down off the ladder, took off running as a I saw a squirrel bust outta there. It was 7am and I had grass stains on my jammies :(. I screamed. It doesn't take much for this girly girl from the city to get creeped out. I was like 'dang, can't a girl have her coffee first?'. Sometimes, I speak to the world like a spiritual Indian and I'm like, "dude, world, seriously, how did I get here? I am THROWING A FLEA FOGGER IN A HOLE ABOVE MY KITCHEN! I AM STANDING ON A LADDER AT 7A.M. IN MY NEIGHBOR'S BACK YARD. I HAVE CANDYCANES ON MY PJ PANTS AND AN OVER SIZED TEXAS TECH SWEATSHIRT ON. HOW DID I GET HERE? I AM SUPPOSED TO LOOK LIKE A COUNTRY SINGER, BLONDE AND BUBBLICIOUS, TAN AND FIT. HOW DID I END UP IN A MANIC FRENZY HUNTING DOWN A CAN OF FLEA FOGGER, THINKING FORGET THIS, OH IT'S ON YOU LITTLE FOCKER, SCRATCHING AND BURYING NUTS ABOVE MY HEAD WHEN I'M PACKING LUNCHES, YOU'RE GONNA DIE AND I'M NOT GONNA CARE.
Welp. What are you going to do? All I can be is this mess.
Candycane's Favorite Things:
My Scentsy burner (wickless candle system) MMMM smells so good
When I'm UP- I love my Lady GAGA cd
When I'm down- I love my 1st Fiona Apple cd- Tidal- circa 1996
i.e "Sullen Girl"
Days like this, I don't know what to do with myself
All day, and all night
I wander the halls along the walls
And under my breath, I say to myself,
"I need fuel to take flight"
And there's too much going on
But it's calm under the waves
In the blue of my oblivion
Under the waves in the blue of my oblivion
Is that why they call me a sullen girl, sullen girl?
They don't I used to sail the deep and tranquil seas
But he washed me ashore
And he took my pearl
And left an empty
Shell of me
And there's too much going on
But it's calm under the waves
In the blue of my oblivion
Under the waves in the blue of my oblivion
Under the waves in the blue of my oblivion
It's calm under the waves
In the blue of my oblivion
**************************************************
I'm still lovin my pure green tea I get exclusively at Target or Central Market.
The show Modern Family
The smell of Christmas, although I just wanna smell some pumpkin pie and enjoy Thanksgiving 1st!
I love Wallflowers from B&B works, another smell goodie for the house, been using them for years.....it is the little things that make me smile
I love the "Pink" brand at Victorias Secret.
Cinnamon Life Cereal
Stationary
Hello Kitty
New socks
Old School Rap
Oh who are we kidding, New school rap (I.E Alicia Keys w/ Jay Z Empire State of Mind)
Jay-Z:]
Yeah,
Yeah, I'mma up at Brooklyn,
Now I'm down in Tribeca,
Right next to DeNiro,
But I’ll be hood forever,
I’m the new Sinatra,
And since I made it here,
I can make it anywhere,
Yeah they love me everywhere,
I used to cop in Harlem,
All of my dominicanos
Right there up on broadway,
Brought me back to that McDonalds,
Took it to my stash spot,
5-60 State street,
Catch me in the kitchen like a Simmons whipping Pastry,
Cruising down 8th street,
Off white lexus,
Driving so slow but BK is from Texas,
Me I’m up at Bed Stuy,
Home of that boy Biggie,
Now I live on billboard,
And I brought my boys with me,
Say wat up to Ty Ty, still sipping Mai-tai
Sitting courtside Knicks and Nets give me high fives,
N-gga I be Spiked out, I can trip a referee,
Tell by my attitude that I most definitely from…
[Alicia Keys:]
In New York,
Concrete jungle where dreams are made of,
There's nothing you can’t do,
Now you’re in New York,
These streets will make you feel brand new,
The lights will inspire you,
Let's hear it for New York, New York, New York
[Jay-Z:]
I made you hot n-gga,
Catch me at the X with OG at a Yankee game,
Shit I made the yankee hat more famous than a yankee can,
You should know I bleed Blue, but I ain't a crip tho,
But I got a gang of n-ggas walking with my clique though,
Welcome to the melting pot,
Corners where we selling rocks,
Afrika bambaataa shit,
Home of the hip hop,
Yellow cap, gypsy cap, dollar cab, holla back,
[ Jay-Z Lyrics are found on www.songlyrics.com ]
For foreigners it aint fitted they forgot how to act,
8 million stories out there and their naked,
Cities is a pity half of y’all won’t make it,
Me I gotta plug Special Ed and I got it made,
If Jeezy’s payin LeBron, I’m paying Dwayne Wade,
3 dice cee-lo
3 card Monte,
Labor day parade, rest in peace Bob Marley,
Statue of Liberty, long live the World trade,
Long live the king yo,
I’m from the empire state thats…
[Repeat Chorus:]
Welcome to the bright light..
[Jay-Z:]
Lights is blinding,
Girls need blinders
So they can step out of bounds quick,
The side lines is blind with casualties,
Who sipping life casually, then gradually become worse,
Don’t bite the apple Eve,
Caught up in the in crowd,
Now your in-style,
And in the winter gets cold en vogue with your skin out,
The city of sin is a pity on a whim,
Good girls gone bad, the cities filled with them,
Mami took a bus trip and now she got her bust out,
Everybody ride her, just like a bus route,
Hail Mary to the city your a Virgin,
And Jesus can’t save you life starts when the church ends,
Came here for school, graduated to the high life,
Ball players, rap stars, addicted to the limelight,
MDMA got you feeling like a champion,
The city never sleeps better slip you a Ambien
[Repeat Chorus:]
[Alicia Keys:]
One hand in the air for the big city,
Street lights, big dreams all looking pretty,
No place in the World that can compare,
Put your lighters in the air, everybody say yeaaahh
Come on, come,
Yeah,
***************************************
On that note, holla!!!!!!!!!!!! Bring on the holiday week, I can't wait!!
