This is sweet girl and I on her 3rd birthday 11-6-09. We had a special day/weekend with friends and loved ones.
So, I think I'm one step closer to new carpet......I picked out an inexpensive frieze and paid for an estimate, coming soon. My dad talked me out of linoleum although I thought it might be the way to go w/ animals and children. However, one snag and I'm done for and we all know how much I love to move furniture around. Plus, I am not above putting it in my bedroom. I had picked out a kind of cool one that looked like tile or stones. It is time to start giving this house the TLC it needs. My hope is that we can incorporate the needs and wants in to our monthly budget. I'll give up some extras for the sake of our home. Did you know I am making almost what I would make if I worked full time and deducted child care for both children? That is insane! So when people wonder how we do it, or why, or if it is a strain on the family.......this is why. I never EVER saw me working weekends after waitressing, after graduating college. It seems like I don't miss much and everyone is so money hungry at my work, that any shift I request off is snatched up quickly. I've had coworkers approach, give me their cell numbers and ask that I call them first when I need off. So then, when you see me work some insane overnight shift or a double, this is why, people are constantly coming through for me. I love the crisis work. This past Monday, my 2nd time working my new shift, I spoke with a mother and then her 13 y.o daughter. The mother kept saying 'bless you for this, I cannot thank you enough'. I talked with the daughter and we decided she would benefit from seeing a counselor, not necessarily a psychiatrist. Meds are not the answer. (well sometimes they are, but w/ a child not so much). The mother got back on the phone and I urged her to get her someone her daughter could talk to, b/c if the depression wasn't just a youth stage, it would spread like a vicious disease. Kids need validation.
So, back to my house, I'll be preparing a list, with pictures of problems. Ha, why you say the pictures, b/c I'm visual! There are many 'small' things that you might say we could do ourselves but with our schedules and lack of motivation for home projects, I just assume put them on the list. It was so cool last year when my uncle allen and bro in law travis did a bunch of things for me around here for my bday. I do wish my dad didn't live in CA. I know it sounds selfish, but I just know he'd help us. He is so good at what he does and I'd give anything to have him around more for help. We could go to dinner, starbucks, and he could tell my kids stories about me. My sis and I are hopeful that someday he will have no choice but to return to Texas. I personally look forward to the day he needs us. I don't want to change his diaper or anything......just help provide for him in his golden years. But, right now he is loving life in CA and I don't blame him. It is beautiful there.
So......yesterday girls and I got home and the pups were in the front yard. WTH!! I started to get mad but when I saw they weren't running away, just running in circles, and then running up to my car, I started laughing. The gate had blown open and I forgot to crate them before leaving the house. They ran up to the door w/ us. I mean, they just want to be with us. The boy knows his name now and the girl is catching on a little faster to "sit!" I spend a few min. in the evening after they've had a chance to run off some energy teaching them SIT.
I was asked today if I had gotten their shots yet. I'm waiting for Jan.-- right now I want my extra money for Christmas. Alot is going on in the next six weeks-- such as Thanksgiving, B's cheer competition, Christmas and I'm sure much more. So, if it seems wrong or selfish, I'm sorry. I'm not! Anyway, who knows, maybe I will do it sooner......like if an opportunity presents itself where M and I can do it together, yikes, it may be the only way we CAN do it. So please don't think I'm irresponsible. Also, if something is 'wrong' w/ them or if they get some terrible disease, I am NOT paying for it. I refuse to pay a lot of money on an animal. I love love love animals....but I just don't believe in keeping them alive if it is going to cost me a lot. I'm sure lots disagree w/ me........but I am who I am! Right now my main buddy seems to be Geppetto and I get sad when he has allergies! I'm not heartless. It would pain me a great deal if I ever had to make a decision to euthanize him over an expensive treatment. He is so incredibly sweet.
I was listening to Ellen talk on Oprah yesterday and Oprah asked her about how happy she seems. Ellen said it is b/c she doesn't get stuck in "ego". I loved that. Well said. Anger, resentment, judging-- is at the core of that ego stage. People have such a hard time looking beyond themselves, seeing the big picture, and when pissed off at the world, unable to ever find the silver lining. There is so much more to life than being mad in traffic, angry at having to work, sticky stuff in the couch, a long line at the grocery store..........don't get me wrong......I get annoyed at these things too but overall I have the ability to move at a slower pace than others and look at things with a calmer attitude. I'm human, but not a very angry one. I've been there, done that.....and the time spent with that wasted emotion was completely pointless. It served me in no way. It gave me nothing. Yet, when I spend time with positive emotions, I am replenished instead of depleted.
My biggest pet peeve with fellow humans is the crazy need to judge. I don't mean like the typical stuff, like seeing someone w/ blue hair and assuming they do drugs. I mean like everyday stuff. Someone has more kids than you think is 'normal' judge! Someone complains of money but goes out for steak every weekend, judge! Someone says they workout five times a week but they don't look skinnier to you, judge! I know we are programmed do a small amount of judging naturally. We have opinions, we like to vent......but at some point, it crosses in to fragile territory. Oh and the latest topic among people these days is parents and their kids extra-curricular activities. I know parents from both ends of the spectrum-- kids are overly involved or not involved at all and yet every one of them is just trying to find 'healthy balance'. I just call b.s on all of it. Do what is best for your family. Some families can't afford to put their children in piano or soccer. Some kids thrive in being stimulated sun up to sun down. I don't have the answer but all of the chitter chatter about what is right or wrong is wrong. I know what is right for us, so that is what we do.
The Christmas commercials are freaking me out. Should I start shopping now? Nah, I work better under pressure. I have started brainstorming for my peeps. I don't think the girls will be that hard. There isn't much they don't find excitement in. I really look forward to Christmas morning. The squeals and giggles! And of course, me flashing the camera like paparazzi!
