Miss B lost her first tooth 11-7-09, one day after her sister's birthday. It was a little scary for her at first, but then it was exciting. She just didn't like that blood!
It has been yet another busy weekend. Funny how some weekends are so low key and boring that I'm begging to do something and other weekends I'm spinning like a maniac!
My uncle Paul and his workers stopped by yesterday to assess the damage of our house. He just came through like the construction mafia, pointing at things, using terms I don't understand, and talking quietly with his men as if they were about to negotiate a pending drug deal I had with them. Kill Candice or give her one more chance? Well if you've seen the Sopranos, they really don't give people chances, but I'm derailing.
We didn't talk about numbers but I am trying to remain confident and positive. Ok, that is kind of total crap. I cried last night and this morning, overwhelmed with everything. I get sick of being positive and finding the stupid silver lining in everything. It is exhausting! I listen to everyone's problems, even down to listening to my friends and their road rage. I listen and listen. I listen at work. Unless you've had to hear someone yell at you b/c they just want to "fucking end it all!!!!!!"- their words, not mine or "drive this fucking car off a fucking bridge and you don't care do you lady!!!" then you really cannot understand why I was at my breaking point last night and maybe a little this morning. I just want to scream 'well go F yourself - go jump - don't sit here on the phone when you say I don't care. don't yell at me.' Instead I have to be professional. It has already been one of those nights at work. Get in line people, we all have problems. Don't yell at me for doing my job and/or for not being in the same crappy position. And, furthermore, I do care. People who really want help will listen for feedback, instead of going on irate, scream sessions. People who really want help are receptive and proactive. Not a-holes.
btw, a caller called me a do-do, however you spell it, doe doe, I guess I am one if I can't even spell it! Then they wanted a different option than the county hospital, yet no insurance? Huh? I realize that the county hospital is not a 5 star hotel but that is how it works. Plus, to call the people at that hospital a bunch of morons was personally offensive. Again, I'm not saying I want to vacation there, but the times they kept my mother alive- for FREE- well- there are no words. They/ We do our best in the non-profit world and we are all well trained, well educated. To care for the indigent population is a gift. Don't pee all over that, it's mine. I'm gifted and compassionate - and generally people like me....generally...
I got in a better mood after having lunch at my parents. We are so spoiled. Last weekend we had a big yummo dinner at M's parents celebrating bdays and today we got another big meal. Also, many of my extended fam came and it was so nice and it felt like old times. Oh, the times spent on that patio chatting and laughing. It is kind of surreal. They moved in to that house when Amy and I were in like 2nd or 3rd grade, and here I am -- watching my children play w/ their cousin today in the same yard. Surreal and beautiful. I'm a mush like that. With any luck, Miss B will celebrate high school graduation in that same backyard as I did once! :) Just sayin...
Ashlee is pushing me so far these days. She has been whining, crying, talking back, peeing on floors, hating her face wiped, wanting to be held. Seriously, Calgone, I'm still waiting for our plotted kidnapping. Any day now will do. Just leave a ransom note. Take me to a spa in the middle of nowhere where they do not get cell phone service. In the note please state I will not return until shoes are put in their proper places, I'm sick of repeating myself, as if dealing w/ the hearing impaired. Please note that crumbs do not evaporate and could they be dolls and clean those up. Tell my husband if he'd like to complain about me leaving my coffee spoon on the counter which leaves a ring of coffee....that he might want to think about putting food back in the pantry, throwing empty milk jugs away, and scraping the kids food they didn't eat off of their plate and in to the trash can, then place plate in sink. I'm not asking that he wash the plate, that would be unreasonable. It would be awesome if for an entire day the girls rooms could stay clean. Please state in the note that my brain hurts. It cannot comprehend anything anymore, it is done, poor brain, look what you have done to Mommy's brain!! Also, stop running with scissors. No seriously, stop it, those are my scissors and if you run with them, and something happens, I will be blamed. They are sharp and dangerous and I need to be able to find them in my junk drawer in case a robber tries to get us. Yep, that is my big plan, I don't have time to think of a better plan.
I love my life. I love my little family. However, one thing needs to be made clear: This is MY world and you all are just living in it.
