Me and a cross. This was actually me before Tori concert in July. ME ME ME. Ever get the impression I am in love w/ self?
It is kind of true, but also, kind of a survival mechanism. If I focus on all the things I don't LOVE about me, I'd be so sad, so lost, so NOT me. Don't you know depression is out of style? Embrace Joy!
It is so easy to get stuck, wonder what is next, or, now what, or ugh this house is crumbling, my bank acct is diminishing, i miss my college body- A LOT, lol, and there are murders, kidnappings, and war. There are moral, ethical, and political debates going on, on a daily. There is gossip, drama, work politics, balancing our extended families. If I digest any part of any of this, I am doomed. So, it is more like bobbing for apples, dip head slightly in to water, bite a little, either drop the apple or get it out of the barrel, deal with it.
But, when all of this is far from my brain, and I can simply just breathe, live, go through the sometimes mundane motions of day, and reflect, and feel genuine, authentic gratitude, I think I really embrace joy at it's fullest. I always get so incredibly happy when the cooler weather comes in. Yes, I know this weekend will be a hot one :( but the past week has been awesome! I've been more motivated w/ everything. I love new seasons (of what seasonal change we get in DFW) and I love new chapters. I think Augusts will always be my most stressful months. It is usually so much change and so abrupt, I find it hard to deal. But, once the calm sets in, it is easy to take it all in, move in to acceptance and get excited about what the season has to offer.
Some funnies....
Ashlee grunting on potty.
Me, "You going poo poo?"
A, "DON'T TALK AT ME WHEN I GO POO POO"
Me, "uh ok"
She also calls me grandma all the time, just to be funny. How does she know she is a character? So, I just call her grandma right back at her. I'm sure we sound hilarious in the grocery store. "Oh yea Grandma is that so?" "OK Grandma, I want cookies now"
B and i on our way to pick up a pizza and she says something, like a name she made up and I said, "what kind of name is that, sort of sounds like an alien!"
B, "Or a Mexican"
What????
When I picked up Miss B from school yesterday she seemed a little sad. She said she only got to "20" at the run a thon and that everyone else went further and that she thinks they get prizes and she does not. WHAT? 1st - no, that isn't how her runathon was set up (I don't think)
It WAS however set up in a way I disapproved. We were asked to collect money as a fundraiser and the kids would do a runathon. We had to donate $5 to cover the cost of the "free" um NOT so free t-shirt to wear at the runathon. If you donated more, you were rewarded by maybe a treasure of some sorts. Well, I thought the whole fundraiser was a bad idea. Just send a dumb catalog w/ cookie dough and let me ask the grandparents if they want any and we'll do what we can financially. Do not send home a packet asking for money for a marathon and letting my 5 year old be aware that the more she raises, the more SHE gets. Yesterday morning, I explained to Brookelyn that we would be donating only the $5 to cover the cost of her "free" tshirt. I could tell she was disappointed. I had to tell my 5 year old that I won't be able to give the school money each and every time it asks for it. I told her that right now my main priority is her birthday. She agreed. But still! I shouldn't be talking about money w/ my 5 year old!! I am all about the traditional fundraisers b/c I know they work and they benefit the school, which benefits the children. We have fundraisers at Cheer, and at A's MDO. I'm not new to fundraisers! I may mention my concern of telling children what they "earn" the more money they make at my first conference w/ teacher. It certainly isn't her fault, it is just how the school presented the idea. It was probably on the announcements and the older kids can better grasp disappointment a little easier. I just look at B and already see the invisible growing pains, well not invisible to me. I have to see her endure some disappointments and endure lessons I could never, ever teach her myself at home. The disappointments will build character, make her stronger, and prepare her for the often cruel real world. There is no way I could do that on my own. It is going to take teachers, peers, coaches, aunts, uncles, g-parents, to fully teach what it is I think she needs to be equipped with to be successful in her life. It's a big job and that is why I think it takes so many people. (a village)
