Above you will notice mas pics from our vaca. in Galveston. Ya, I know, two months after moving away from there, I go back, believe me, I too was confused.Today was your average day in Suburbia. The usual errands and red bull to get me through it all. It sort of does give me wings. Actually, I'm sort of not sure -- it sort of just makes me feel normal, not jittery or anything.
I do want to know what goes through kids brains when stepping inside a public place. "Lets make this harder for Mom" is what I assume. We NEVER go in the bank but the bank said I had to come in do something that couldn't be done through the drive through. That was two weeks ago. I remember telling the teller, "But I have two small children, I can't just come inside!" And she was like "sorry". No she was not. So today, we park in the bank parking lot. Brookelyn is confused. She goes, "This is a grocery store"
I say, "No, its the bank, you don't recognize it from the front"
She says, "No, its a grocery store"
I say, "Well just wait, there is no food to buy in here"
We walk in and she confirms my accusation. "Oh! This is a bank Mommy, look at the pretty decorations"
"Gorgeous, now walk faster turtles"
We get to the line and the girls think its their cue to wander away from me and explore. I keep muttering and whisper screaming for them to get back to me, all the while smiling at the teller. I say to the teller, "Two weeks ago they told me I had to come in the lobby to do this and I told them I have children" as if its all their fault my kids are playing limbo with the line dividers.
Miss B, "Everyone NIMBO!"
Yes Nimbo is what she calls limbo. When has she played this? Did the Wiggles teach her this? I certainly don't teach her games that she could break her skull playing.
The teller is kind of giggling, an older lady, so you know shes kind of judging me, but I refrain to care. I give her a look that says, 'you have no idea if these kids are mine, I could be babysitting'
Then the teller goes, "they really give you a run for your money".
What!?
I look back and sure enough they are by the front door. Some hobo could come in and swipe them. I wanted to say to the lady, "well then hurry the crap up, you see that they are clearly kicking my butt today!"
Finally, out the door and on to Lowes for a dumb 5 dollar air filter. My hassles of getting there, parking, lugging them in, putting them in a cart are worth waaaaaaaay more, you'd think I'd make my trip to Lowes really worth it, but nope, I like torture.
So we are on an aisle and Ash is straddling the side of the cart, yes, straddling. "No honey, its not a game, or a ride, sit down on your bo bo"
Ash, ticked off, wails, and does it again. I had no choice but to take her out and let her walk so I could find my air filter. So then its time to leave and say to Miss B, "get off the cart, lets go check out"
B says, "We can't just leave the cart on the aisle"
Me, "Yes we can and we are going to"
B louder says, "Mommy! The cart!"
Me, angrily in a whisper scream, "BE QUIET we don't need that cart and we are leaving it on this aisle now come on I am leaving!"
For the record, I wouldn't normally be so ghetto and leave a cart like that in the middle of the store but my kids, well, I blame them for any crappy decisions I made today.
Then B takes off hauling butt, remember first there was a stand off by the beloved cart and the moral dilemma of leaving it but once I got pissy she decided to tear a#$ and Ash starts having a meltdown. I tell Ashlee to come on or sit there and cry. I tell B to get her butt back to me, as she is closing in at the end of the store and gone way to far. Ashlee reluctantly follows all the while wailing. B comes back to me and tells me she is tired of walking (as if I instructed her to do a lap to the garden area and come back). I chose self check out so I wouldn't have to deal w/ any humans b/c I'm ready to blow any second. I could feel the stares and I could feel the pity for Ashlee, being forced to cry and follow me all the way 15 feet to the check out. Then she stopped. I turn around and a sweet teenage girl is holding her. The teen says, "She stood there looking at me like she wanted me to pick her up" I said, "Thats fine, you got her quiet, thanks!"
The whole drive home I daydreamed about the teenage girl, coming home with me and helping me. However, we get home and they are angels again. People want to know why I don't like to leave my house, this is why! We are all in our element here. Everyone knows the rules and we all have our peaceful retreats, our toys, our entertainment.
I just know one of these days I'll have to fill out an accident report on one of these public places excursions.
Name-
Reason- my kids thought this was a party
Cause- my kids wanted to play limbo here
Injury- broken bones thanks to your crappy, slick tile flooring
Comments- how about making this place kid proof and putting in a play area supervised by a certified childcare worker, or a drive through, (all public places should be drive through- that goes for Kroger, Blockbuster, Chipolte, Lowes, Discount Tire, Kwik Car and Lube, Target, all my friends houses, etc..) And how about a complimentary flavored coffee for me while I'm here, and chocolate milk and fruit snacks for my kids, I'm sick of my purse looking like someone puked inside with all the crumbs and curdled milk, you want my business don't you, then start acting like it!
