Same Crap, Different Day

Anyone seen Candice? I know she is here somewhere.
I never thought I'd be sick of my own voice. No one ever tells you that having children may very well suck the life force out of you. My darling 4 year old has been totally sassing me lately. She hates my "angry" voice- duh, I do too. So then stop making me use it! Don't you see the veins popping out of my head? Smoke coming out of my ears? Can't they take a hint when my head goes spinning out of control and nearly bobbles right off of my body? "Dude! Mommy's going crazy, lets get out of here before she blows!"- Take a hint!
All of this isn't the kids fault. Its not Michael's either. Its just a collection of things. Miss B and I were never used to a life of house arrest and isolation. We always stayed so active. Now, I'm sorry to report, her favorite place is Target.
My girls are my favorite part of my life, so it makes no sense that I would have to use my 'mommy is going nuts' voice so much. Time for reflection and reel in the monster....(if only people would stop baiting it!)
Actually, they are both at really cute phases right now. I know if I close my eyes for even a second, they will be in college or getting married. Soon enough I'll be explaining the dangers of boys and to please pass on grass. I'll be explaining that thongs are not clothing and when they are not under my roof then they can wear them. Thongs are for one thing, am I right people? If you're going to be picking a wedgie all day, you better be getting someones attention in them! I'll be telling them that although they are getting the HPV vaccine, they will be sent to a safari boot camp if I catch them at Planned Parenthood getting "precautions". I plan on scaring the crap out of the them and using bribery when necessary. "Oh, you'd like to eat today? Then you should have thought about that when you bought these thongs!"