Sex With Heather

I know I'm not the only one who gets excited about Easter (and every other holiday). I think its how you know you're meant to be a mommy. You get excited about crafts, holiday dresses, and buying gifts. Your cool with wearing old raggedy clothes, but nothing but the cutest for your kids!
Yesterday was supposed to be a wind down day and part of it was. We got up and rushed over to Kel's hotel to say bye to our friends. We'll see them soon but it was still nice to see them off. Kel was excited about the caffeine I came bearing and the kids were excited to hug and laugh one last time. Then, we came home and the kids rested and I cleaned and cleaned and cleaned and organized. Then, I decide if we don't do Easter Bunny pics yesterday, we'd have to do them today, on a Sat. when it will be super busy. So we pile in the car around 230pm. First up- the store for matching dresses. Its quite possible all of my searching for many days paid off, this is the cutest they've looked. Then, I get to the area where I thought the bunny was and it was empty. I turn and ask a worker at the t-mobile stand, "Do you know where the Easter bunny is?" Here is his reply in a quiet, creepy voice:
"Um, ya, he's in prison. You see last year he was working here and then at night he was dropping eggs off in backyards, and the cops caught him and took him to jail."

I really wish you could have seen the look on my face. His first line told me he was being stupid and trying to be funny. However, when he said "last year when he was working here" he almost convinced me that he was telling a true story. So I kept imagining some creepy man working during the day at the Sugar Land Mall and then stalking homes at night. I shook it off and said "Um, ok- where is he really?"
Doesn't this idiot see I have two dressed up little girls, one of which was very excited?! So, he tells me where to go and as I'm walking off, he pipes up and says, "Hey, do you have T-mobile?" I said, "No, I have Sprint and I'm stuck in a contract til the year 2020!" He tried to motion me back to the booth and I exclaim, "Sorry, I have to get these girls to the bunny".
What just happened? That little episode about the bunny being in prison and me having Sprint took like 10 minutes! I always look like I'm in a rush in the mall because, I am! You try shopping or doing anything w/ a 4 and 1 yr old.
After Bunny pics, most of the afternoon was gone, I set an appt for pictures on Tuesday in their dresses, then we left to meet Michael at dinner. Here comes another strange episode. We sit on the terrace near the ducks and river amongst other suburban families- EXCEPT- for the two college age boys next to us. I say college age b/c they were drinking. I'm immediately confused when I see them, certainly there is a bar with less mommies and daddies and children! Then I think, 'maybe their girlfriends are on their way over to meet them'. I quickly realize that is not the case. We are right next to them and they are smoking (which I don't think was allowed) and dropping the F bomb every other word. Then they start calling girls on their cell phones and begging them to come up there so they can buy them drinks. One of them hangs up and says, "Looks like I'm having sex with Heather tonight". I shoot Michael a glare like 'did you hear that' and then in case he didn't understand my glare, I say, "Did you hear what I heard?" He said, "I think so" but doesn't want to talk to me about it for fear of looking obvious. Looking obvious!! I turn my head around give them a couple of looks and am two seconds from dropping the F bomb on them- like "hey shut the F up, I have two small children, hurry get to walgreens and buy your KY and condoms, Heather is waiting!!" Poor Heather. She was probably at home getting all dolled up, putting make up, finding her favorite top that shows off her chest, and thinking she is going out tonight with a guy who might like her for her personality. She was in for it--poor Heather was nothing but a piece of A--.
Thankfully they left before our food came and the table was soon replaced with a nuclear family. Ahhh, that is more like it.