Guess who arrived a few days ahead of schedule?! Miss Layla! Kristyn is recovering well and baby is doing great. So exciting! I know Kristyn and Kelly are in Heaven. They are in love and life is so good.
Personally speaking, I feel as though a 7 year weight has been lifted, from my soul, and speculating from K's as well. My sis has been through so much, most of it by the time she was 19. Loss on top of loss. Not just in death, but in circumstances too. We even lost each other, forced a part. Loss on top of loss. I personally found healing from my own losses in life when I had my 1st child and with each child my heart has grown even bigger and my soul heals a little more. Not that I needed to have 3 children to heal. Brookelyn would have always been enough, but my gift came in a package of 3, and I'm thankful.
My heart grew again seeing Layla for the first time. A little piece of Candice is in that tiny little baby. Doesn't any proud aunt see it this way. My heart just beamed from my chest seeing my sister out of c-sec, seeing her baby in her room with her, both recovering well, ahh a sister could exhale and be taken away in the emotion of it all.
I had sort of snuck back to recovery before I was called back. I went to nurse station and said I am Kristyn's sister, is she out of surgery. Hello, I'm her person. I'm the one she calls if something is bothering her, even if it is just her swelling feet. Shes my person. I have many great girlfriends and fam in my life but do you know I all the time get 'brookelyn' and 'kristyn' mixed up in my sentences. It's b/c Kristyn was my 1st baby. I realize a 5 year old cannot be a mother, but do not tell 5 year old Candice that, she will have to punch you.
So the nurses said "yes shes out, you can go knock on door and see if their ready for a visit" I said, 'ok, I don't want to interrupt anything though' and then proceeded to walk to room. (all the while thinking I hope my bro in law doesn't wanna kick me out of hosp for being THAT sister). I thank him for being so cool to me during the whole thing and sharing HIS moments of joy with HIS family with ME. I knocked lightly on the door and I hear Kristyn say my name and I say, "it's just me, I'm alone". She said I could come in, I saw her, then baby, then Kelly, then felt the rush of watery eyes. I promptly told Kelly his mom and sis in law were in wait rm waiting for news. He left. The nurse handed me baby and offered to take a take a pic w/ my phone. What nurse does that?! I wouldn't have even asked. I would have waited until Kristyn said something. However, the nurse was still getting K situated post surgery. It was a brief visit with me in the room with K and baby, but I will cherish those minutes the rest of my life. There are certain times in your life that you feel the loss a mom more abundantly. Again, I can't speak for K, but I was feeling the loss that day, just as I did on my own childrens birth events. Our mom wrote in her journal she wanted to be alive to see graduations, weddings, grandchildren and she saw none of it. She saw my h.s grad but thats it- not K's, not my college grad, not our weddings, and now all the births of grandchildren. We are grateful to have the people we have in our life, no question about that. But, in those few minutes, I believe it was the will of my mother, pushing me to be pushy, to get back to see my Kristyn. I'm not confrontational or pushy. I still quiver and shy away from people in authority. In a hospital, everyone, including the geriatric volunteers have more power and I always, politely oblige. However, I didn't even have to get all momma bearish -- the staff at Harris SW is amazing. B, A, A, and now L have been born there and I have nothing negative to say about the place.
Since Layla has been born, I've been sick, so no visit to Granbury yet! I've had a cold, and now my Anderson has it. Ashlee has a cough. We are probably not contagious but I haven't felt up to much. I'm on the mend and Anderson is going to be fine- but I hate seeing him suffer w/ congestion. So after we get well, we'll be going for an overnight visit or a couple to Granbury.
Also, tomorrow, I have orientation at.....yep you guessed it my old company!! I'll be doing on call work at 2 different units. Training and such might get tricky here in the next couple of weeks but it is officially summer for my children and I have a great bunch of friends and fam who have my back. I also have a company who is understanding of my situation. By now HR and Training dept know me by first name and have been so kind regarding schedule. There are times when you have faith but you don't know why and then things start to fall in place and you think, oh I see now. I'm sure some people might wonder, why complicate my life, I'm so busy w/ 3 children. Some may wonder that with all the money complaining I do, why I don't work full time. I'm here to answer those burning Q's. Well the simple answer is, it is the best of both worlds and it remedies my budget woes. The long answer is- if I worked full time, it wouldn't cover the cost of all the childrens childcare-afterschool care, daycare, what have you. I'd do it, if I could profit. As far as complicating anything, well, I do work better under pressure. I get more done. I also miss my field. I've heard that the human spirit is never meant to go idle and feel mundane or maybe I just made that up. But I do know that most of us have an innate need to feel needed, to help others-
I know plenty of people who fulfill that need without working. Mine, is in the MH field. I am my mother's work here. Someday I'll die and I want someone to say - 'she loved helping the mentally ill and teaching others about mental illness' Of course I hope they also say, she was our mommy and she was great at it. haha.
I'm really excited about summer time. I'm not a morning person so getting up every morning and getting kids ready is for the birds. I'm cranky, I don't think about breakfast, I don't have my lipgloss on and without coffee the whole day could be shot. So heres to lazy mornings, water days and tans and friends and lack of routines. Yah, we still have cheer stuff, and I'll be on call for new job.......so we'll see how this plan goes!
I'd also like to get down to my girlfriends in Sugarland, Jenn. I'd love to take children to Galv for the day and let my sweet boy feel sand for first time. I'd go solo w/ the children. It isn't in the cards for a fam vacay this year and I'm fine w/ that b/c Anderson is still very little. He is a newborn until he is one, or until I say so. We'll be celebrating our 10 year anniv in Aug.- I know plenty who leave the country for a vac. and leave their kids, but I'm sorry, I think I'd puke. I don't want to leave the city for my anniv w/o my kids. I'm fine with Fort Worth, the 5 of us for that day. In fact, most of our anniv consists of staying in pjs, ordering pizza and watching a movie. When you live a life of busy busy busy- you just wanna do something you did when ya first met, a college sort of day.
It is so quiet in my house. I just got Anderson down for his nap. He has been on my most of today w/ his congestion. The girls and Michael went to his folks today for lunch. I'm resting up and enjoying the silence. The girls this morning were fighting over who could play with my old cell phone from 2 years ago. I finally took it away. It was so annoying I almost got a hammer and smashed it, but I didn't. I actually know that it means more to Ashlee. A long time ago I basically gave it to her. She re-found it yesterday and then today B decides she wants to play with it. Oh the drama. Then they were sweet as pie when they decided to put their American flags in the ground in the front yard that nana gave them. They are so cute....even when they are total drama queens.
How long have I been blogging? See what happens when a baby sleeps and the rest leave the house for the day?
