Yesterday, mid-day, I was in tears. I tried to blame my hormones, combined with cloudy weather, combined with accident and insurance issues. I came upstairs to cry quietly. I sat on my bed and put my feet on the window seat and just watched the tears fall on my lap. It wasn't an ugly cry, just a sad one. It had that feeling of depression inside of it, and it had me wondering if it would pass. How could I know? Plus, when it is a combo of things, you can't help but wonder, is this me now? I got it together and proceeded to make dinner, do bath time, and after M got home, my mood improved. I don't vent a lot to him, so I didn't. I really just want his time when he gets home to be peaceful and positive. We did B's "homework" together. I read her the library book she got yesterday and then we all watched "Modern Family" from last week. Thank goodness for DVR! It is by far my new favorite laugh out loud show. I have all of the episodes still in the DVR and I'm keeping them around. After the girls went to sleep, I did my own sort of 'bible study' um with no bible...but with plenty of other literature that happens to have plenty of verses and introspective views. I'm not trying to understand a sequence of events, I just love my inspirational reading. I finally started usuing the journal Amber got me last Christmas. I'm very careful when I get a new journal, b/c I like to put it to special use. I lovvvvveeee journals. I gave an empty one, a favorite of mine that said "smiles" on the front to Amber after she found out her biological mother had passed. She may never use it, but the way I hang on tight to journals, it was like giving her a piece of ME. I use two journals that were given to me in high school as the girl's journals, from me to them. I write to them in it. I tell them what we did or what special or funny things they are doing now. I need to do it more, but I keep them on my bedside table. I really, really want a 3 level shelf, enclosed all the way around that is mounted, built-in kinda on the wall right next to my bedside table. I want all of my books, the special ones, right there, an arm's length. I am sort of swimming in a sea of books, old ones, none of them new. It is refuge.
I was talking to my sis amy this morning and we were talking about friendship and she always says this to me, "What I love so much is that if you and i or jessica or Kristyn ever have an altercation, we make up fast, b/c we are family, we aren't going anywhere, we love each other no matter what"
I love having a big family. It has been the best part of my life. I have 3 sisters, here, and of course linds in CA and jen in OH. That is five sisters that I know will always love me and me love them no matter what. Jen and I didn't grow up together. We were really kind of robbed of any childhood relationship, but we do our best w/ the distance and thanks to technology, we get to communicate all we want. In fact, she is the one sister that we send silly photos via cell phone to and fro the most.
Amy is right. No matter what, my faith in family will never be shaken.
I think if you have friends, there is a certain uncertainty. I hate saying that, but I mean, you never know if they are going to move far away and then the friendship just sort of goes away. I had a best friend move right after high school. I have still never seen her again and our communication is vague.
We have cheer in a bit and I really got to quit playing on the computer!
Last night Griffin was caught on the dining room table going after a piece of ekridge sausage.
The other day he took a bite of my sandwich when I stuck it in his face. What? He was begging!!
Yesterday a different Kindergarten teacher tried to stick the wrong kid in my car. I was in a rental and it confused the lady. The little girl was just going to get in and I'm like, "no, no, that is not my kid!"
Then when B is being taken to the car she is hesitant b/c she doesn't recognize the car. "It's me, Brookelyn! Get in the car little girl....I have candy....."
The sweetest sounds today-- A.M singing along to Rebecca St.James... we were jammin at the carwash.
Ash just said, "do you see poo on me?"
I've started making her wipe her own butt. So now she shows me her bare hiney and asks for inspection.
New Project
12 years ago
