I'm going to try and go in order of events but not sure if I am that talented.
Yes, the first night, Grandma Lou went to ER in New Braunsfels. Here is how the evening went down.
After chatting, dinner, drinks, I decide to go upstairs, wash face and TAKE AMBIEN. It was relatively "early"- like 9ish. I was afraid my body would fight it anyway, being in a foreign house, so taking it early was no biggie. I came back down stairs w/ jammie pants and a cami tank on. I hear Jess or Amy say, "Hey we're going to HEB (grocery store)" I say, "I'm not, I just took Ambien. Jess, Amy and aunt/mom (karen) all start laughing and someone says, "You don't have to drive, just put your shoes on". OK. So I do. If I slump over and fall alseep, it's them three who have to roll me back inside and get me upstairs. So whatev. We get what we need and get back, it took about 35 min. Maybe longer, who knows, I was high.
We get home and I'm feeling a little loopy/tired- of course. Travis comes up to us and calmly says, "Your grandma went to ER" We were like haha whatever. We assumed he was joking. You gotta imagine him tellin us in his calm super Southern accent! Omigosh, he kills me! So he said, "Ya, something like she tripped on something and cut herself, she asked for a first aid kit and then you're dad took her to ER"
Wow, great story Travis, thanks for all the details.
Truth is, he didn't have any. They pretty much just said bye when they left (tio and grandma)
What happened was she tripped on slight step leading to her room, ping ponged between two walls, dropped her water, and sliced open her pinky with her diamond ring. She ended up with stitches in the finger and tape on her upper arm (she got cut there too) and bruised up from shoulder to wrist. POOR GRANDMA!! They didn't get home til 2am from hosp. Oh and the best, Michael DIDN'T KNOW ANY OF THIS. He went to bed before the fall happened, even though it happened RIGHT OUTSIDE HIS DOOR!! He asked us what we were talking about the next day at the waterpark, riding the tram. We all died laughing, so typical of Michael to be clueless. He had no idea my poor Grandma went to hosp for 4 hours.
Please, if anything ever happens to me, let Michael know we bank at EECU and our mortgage is through Bank of America, the girls wear a size up from their actual ages, and we buy toilet paper in bulk from Sams.
Thank GOODNESS nothing more severe happened to Grandma.
The next day at the waterpark, we were like 13 blinds leading 13 blinds. Total freakin morons. We walked and walked up and down stairs that lead no where. There were "maps" but no signs. What is Schlitterbuan's motive? To keep you confused? Why? We'd see a ride and not know where it begins or ends. Oh, and yes most of us have been there more than once, but that doesn't help all these idiots.
Finally, a ride, no height requirement. We get closer, read some of the info about the ride, FOR THRILL SEEKERS/ EXPERIENCE SWIMMERS. I might "sort of" fall under this criteria but my 2 and 5 year old- not so much. I try not to panic. There are lifeguards everywhere, the water is only to my ankle, so what if there are 4 foot drop offs and water gusting faster than I run, so what??!
My kids gladly get in their kid tubes. They don't care. Put them on a bungee chord and drop them off the highest slide. THEY DO NOT CARE. As I'm getting in my tube which by the way, no matter what size I've been I feel like a beached whale they are trying to guide and slide in to tube. Arg. My heart starts to race. Ash is next to me in her tube and lifevest on and B is next to daddy. I have a death grip on baby girl's tube. She's giggling and I'm shaking. It whipped us around, speeding!!!!!!!!! At one point the force of the speed caused me to let go of A's tube. I screamed! A lifeguard pushed her back to me. We did our last drop off and I was like GET ME OFF THE FREAKIN RIDE.
It would have been FUN for me if I didn't have to hold on to my BABY!! lol.
While we were eating lunch, I could feel my hands shaking. I thought to myself, "am I this old? Am I this uptight?" The answer is yes and yes.
wow, this is long already.
I broke the bed after by sitting on it to do my make up. I had already slept in it two nights. No, I didn't just force a slat to fall and I didn't just crack the slat, I broke the 2 by 4 in HALF. Um, is it time to diet?
when I was lathering my feet in vaseline one night, Travis walks by and in his cowboy voice goes, "hay, ya know what works better than that? Mary Kay Night Cream"
Me, "huh?"
Him, "Yea, Mary kay night cream, I sold some to a farmer last week"
Me lookin at Jess like what the heck.
Jess, "Ya, it's only 11 dollars"
Travis "Twelve"
Me, cracking up, "Ok, you sold me, I want some"
that was odd.
The drunk lady that came up to me on the streets of Gruene....
"My friend was going on and on about your baby (Ashlee) and she is adorable but I was telling her, look her MOM, she is adorable!"
Me, "Omigosh, THANK YOU, YOU ARE SO SWEET"
Drunk lady, "I mean it, you are so cute, just so pretty"
I realized she was drunk when kept going on and on and then said she was out with her friends and no kids. AH HAH! Drunk mom w/ no kids! I too would be approaching fellow milfs w/ adoring compliments! Us hot moms have to stick together.
I look next to me, thinking Michael is still standing w/ me, and nope he had walked off, probably to dispose of the barf in his mouth from hearing some woman gushing over me. Uh! This was my big chance to say "see how lucky you are!"
Thanks for hangin in there, this blog was rediculous.
