JUST SOME PICS I LOVE FROM LAST MONTH. I ALREADY FEEL LIKE THOSE PICS OF ME DON'T LOOK LIKE ME. WHO KNOWS WHY. PROB THE LOW LIGHTS I HAD PUT IN AFTER CHRISTMAS, A LITTLE MORE NATURAL LOOKING NOW.
NOT THAT MUCH TO REPORT. BABY EINSTEIN HAS POTTY TRAINED HERSELF, KNOWS HER COLORS, AND ASKS ME QUESTIONS LIKE "WHO PAINTED THIS?" SUDDENLY, ASHLEE HAS OUTGROWN ME, RIPS OFF HER DIAPER, CLIMBS ABOARD THE TOILET AND REPORTS TO ME AFTERWARDS.
THEN THERE IS BROOKELYN WITH HER MOUTH. LOTS OF 'DUH' WHICH IS ONLY MY FAULT. I MUST SAY IT 100 TIMES A DAY. I TRY TO WATCH IT - YOU KNOW- ALL OF THE WORDS AND I DO PRETTY GOOD. HOWEVER, I WAS RATHER AMUSED THAT ASHLEE SAID 'DANG IT' SO PERFECTLY. I WAS LIKE 'WOW, GOOD JOB, I'LL HAVE YOU TALKING LIKE TOTAL WHITE TRASH IN NO TIME".
BROOKELYN IS MY SINGER. IF TAYLOR SWIFT IS IN THE CD PLAYER, SHE IS BELTING OUT THE NOTES! IF I DARE SING ALONG SHE QUICKLY REPRIMANDS ME AND TELLS ME ONLY ONE PERSON IS ALLOWED TO SING, AND THE OTHER PERSON IS THE LISTENER. I AM TO BE THE LISTENER AT ALL TIMES, OR ELSE, I PISS OFF THE FIVE YEAR OLD. THEN THERES THIS PINK SONG I HAVE TO PRETEND TO LOSE. FIRST OF ALL, I HAVE NEVER LIKED IT THAT MUCH BUT THEN I REALIZED ON THE 5TH TIME THAT IT WAS ON THAT MOST LIKELY IT IS NOT APPROPRIATE FOR HER, B/C I HEARD HER SINGING AT THE TOP OF HER LUNGS "I GUESS I JUST LOST MY HUSBAND I DON'T KNOW WHERE HE WENT......SO WHAT I'M STILL A ROCK STAR, I GOT MY ROCK MOVES AND I DON'T NEED YOU TONIGHT"
I WAS LIKE 'OH CRAP', SHE JUST MEMORIZED THIS SONG AND I'M THE DUMBA#% WHO KEPT PUTTING IT ON REPEAT PER HER REQUEST. OK, SO I DON'T HAVE THE BIGGEST BRAINS IN THE MOMMYS GROUP OUT ON THE PLAYGROUND. BUT I GOTTA LOVE HER SPIRIT AND AWESOMENESS, SHE SINGS GREAT! SHE REALLY IS A ROCK STAR.
ASHLEE HAS A COLD I'VE BEEN TENDING TO, BUT I THINK SHE IS IMPROVING. THE BREATHING TREATMENTS HYPE HER UP AND IT HAS BEEN GREAT FUN TO WATCH HER ON UPPERS, AS IF SHE NEEDED IT. SERIOUSLY- IS IT 'NO DOZE' MIXED IN W/ THE MEDICATION? YES, IT CLEARS HER CONGESTION BUT IT ALSO CAUSES HER TO RUN IN CIRCLES, CHASE HER TAIL 22 TIMES, FAKE EAT A FAKE CUPCAKE WITH SOUND EFFECTS UNTIL WE TELL HER TO STOP, SMACK HER DADDY IN THE LEG W/ A MIRROR UNTIL TOLD TO STOP, BITE BROOKELYN AND THEN BLAME BROOKELYN FOR SITTING THERE PEACEFULLY BEING IN CRAZY BABY'S PATH. POOR BROOKELYN, SHE IS ALWAYS GOING TO BE MY GOOD GIRL AND I'LL ALWAYS BE TELLING HER 'GET OUT OF ASHLEE'S WAY, SHE'S ON A TEAR' IT ISN'T FAIR BUT SOMEDAY SHE'LL KNOW HOW GRATEFUL I AM TO HER THAT I SELDOM HAVE TO RAISE MY VOICE, OR LOWER IT. YES THAT'S RIGHT, NOW I GET THEIR ATTENTION BY WHISPERING WHEN THEY ARE IN TROUBLE. IT FREAKS THEM OUT SO I'M GOING TO KEEP AT IT.
WORK IS GREAT. MICHAEL IS GREAT. I'M GREAT. IN CASE YOU ARE WONDERING MY PAIN HAS BEEN GONE SO MAYBE I DON'T HAVE ENDOMETRIOSIS, BUT MAYBE I DO AND IT JUST SURFACES AT THOSE FUN TIMES.
THAT'S A GOOD PLACE TO STOP, TALKING ABOUT FEMALE STUFF.
