So I'm thinkin the reason my grandmother ironed her towels and dressed her girls up for church in head to toe frill is because there were not half the stressors back then as there are now. Let me rewind. I worked Sunday night, got home, took two benedryl, chased down by a class of fancy, box wine. It is hard to wind down after already being up and working past my bedtime. I wake up Monday morning in a foggy haze. I hear the little voices, "mommy mommy, I stayed in my bed all night" Me, finding all of my strength in my vocal chords, "that is awesome sweetie pie". I roll, literally roll out of bed, both girls tugging on my legs (have I ever mentioned I'm not really a morning person?") I do not have full brain activity until one glass of coffee, one, very large glass. Fast forward, mixing up my coffee, Michael's car doesn't start. I don't need this crap. I just throw him my keys and say "Go, don't be late to work over this" So he does and there I sit with a new problem. I tried to communicate with him but by the time he got to work, he had no time for me. I was left to deal, alone, oh, and keep taking care of our kids. I finally said screw it, "I'm having it towed to christian brothers automotive" So I did, but somehow this problem soaked up a day. I had to arrange for B to picked up for cheer. I had to arrange for the following day too, getting B to school and picking up the car. I'd like to kick it and call it names, but that is just disrespectful to my sister who has been so kind to us regarding the car. So, I pick it up today and ask it to run a while longer, keep my husband safe, until I can come up with plan B.
I keep finding myself longing for more of my old, lazy days, even the ones that included the gym every, single day. My hats are off to the women who work full time, take their kids to soccer, piano, dance, etc.. I realize I have just enough on MY plate, and anymore would be life sucking and unfair to me, and my family. I'm not out to prove anything. B is in one extra curricular activity (the cheerleading) and that is freakin enough. My hope, to have A in it in one year :). Hello, one stop shop, dump them off at the gym and pick them up later. lol. I am not out to prove that I can be the big, bad a%$ mother/wife/career worker. Yes, I may be that, but it is not a goal of mine, to prove it to earth. Also, I think it is important that Michael and the girls realize I have flaws and they can anticipate I will show them on a somewhat semi-regular basis. If I show them that I can make dinner, bathe them, pick up their shoes and toys, hang up their jackets, etc and so on, then they learn that I am their slave. I do make dinner and bathe them (most of the time) but the girls do participate in bathing each other and both know how to pick up toys and take shoes to the appropriate places. I have no desire to be a 1950s housewife. Iron towels? Please. I don't even iron clothes. A matter of fact, I don't own a iron or ironing board. The iron broke in Houston, not from use, but from misuse. I can't iron and on top of that, I refuse. There is a cleaners down the road. Enough said. A 1950s housewife didn't have 2 practices a week for cheerleading, Mommy's day out 3 days a week, just enough time for nothing, I work during those hours. Never mind that I am slammed with emails about fundraisers for the school, parties, holiday stuff, gifts, and so on. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy most of this but some of what I have to make room in my brain for is pointless. There is only so much room in here. I can barely keep up with the girl's pizza days at school which should be the easy part of my month, as I do not have to pack lunches on those days. But again, brain can implode due too many "Join us for holiday bazaar, bring something for fundraiser basket for the fest, buy tickets for this, bring an unwrapped toy, bring a wrapped book, parents night out, it costs of course, but let us know by Friday. HELLO, I cannot think that far ahead. You want to know something that is a week away? I'm day to day and I need a secretary.
But, I push through another busy day. I come home from cheer, walk past oven, preheat to 375 (just guessing), keep the girls moving to the bathroom, start water, oh crap, ANTS, spray out ants with shower head, begin filling tub and stripping the kids. "Mommy, I got one shoe off, help me, mommy mommy mommy""Brookelyn Aubrey! I hear you but I am taking off your sister's clothes"
B, "Well I need help"
Me, "No duh, wait 5 seconds"
Finally, both girls in tub, get fish planks in oven, set timer for 17 minutes (just guessing) and throw in a bag of steamable veggies, get out the jar peaches for the girls, snack on a pickle while I wait. Wait? No waiting, scarf pickle, get girls out of tub, BEEP BEEP BEEP, food is ready, phone ringing, both phones ringing. I can't possibly be this loved. Michael, Kelli, Jessica, Amy, text from Kristyn. Call them all back while the girls are eating and I'm chugging diet coke.
Wow, Michael's home, 639pm, one minute earlier than what I expect him. Yay, everyone goes nuts and I go up for my hot shower and have moved very little ever since. I live for my lazy evenings. I put on some trashy show on mtv and decided I am too old to watch gay men kissing on a realty show. I change it to a sitcom. B comes to sit next to me (another reason to ditch mtv) and we decide to share some hot chocolate, as A is in bed. We read a book and sang some jingle bells and giggled like little girls. I knew I'd be on the computer later, but the moment was over too soon. I was in no rush to end it. But, I had to, I let her stay up past her bed time and asked Daddy to tuck her in.......and he did of course.
