Yo whats up homies- its me Miss Ashlee Morgan. My Mommy read a forward from a friend of a friend whose toddler wrote an update about his life. The email had my Mommy barfing up chunks from the overt cheesiness. Ya, thank goodness our family is so normal right? However, while she is passed out in front of "Jon and Kate plus 8" reruns, I'd like to take this opportunity to expose just how cheesy our family is...especially that Mom of mine.First, the picture taking and videos. See above. I have to give this same ridiculous grin and say "cheese" and the mom goes nuts. The sicko had to get a shot of me w/ my scabby nose. Ya, you should see the other guy. I am not a force to be reckoned with. You think you can dish out the crap, well I am 19 months of pure insanity......you better be ready to take some crap too. My mom takes it all day in all forms. My nickname is "Little S*&t" if that gives you any insight.
The videos seem to be at bath time only, I see an obvious pattern. Does it get more entertaining? I don't get it. I'm naked in the bath with my big sis and theres my big, dorky mom video taping. Like ya, haha, look at our bottoms! Has she seen hers lately? Maybe I should video HER in the shower and post it on a blog. Man, that would be so funny, but she'd probably jump out of the window and I need that servant, like 24/7.
She makes us wear bows. Well, she makes my sis wear them. I don't take that crap. I smile when she says, "Awww pretty baby!" but the second she isn't looking, I take that preppy junk out. Wouldn't it be funny if I was like Cher's daughter, all cute and cuddly and then grow up to be all butch and gay? I hear the mom and dad say they would love their kids NO MATTER WHAT but its not the gay I'm worried about, its the BUTCH. My mom couldn't handle it. There are no pills that can make you think you are seeing cute. For record, I know nothing about sexual orientation and if you know my mom, you know shes a control freak and I will eventually have to stop ripping out my bows. I've seen her break a sweat fixing my hair over and over and over and over. Inside I'm dying with laughter but outwardly I just stare at her, like "oops".
My dad is pretty cool. He acts like nothing bothers him, except if he is playing a video game, then my sis and I better shut the crap up. If I could speak, I'd say, "oh excuse me, did I interrupt a crash or arson scene?" Dude, how about you turn that junk down when its my bedtime, and stop trying to teach me how to fetch beers. Aren't you and mom on another health kick? How about an ice cold OZARKA! Mom buys them buy the boatload and keeps that company afloat single handed.
As for my sister, she is the biggest Daddy's girl, which is fine, it frees up our mom and I can have running circles all day. My sis, is pretty laid back, she calls me "honey" all the time. Hmm, wonder where she learned that, hint, rhymes with POM. My sister and I do fight and Mom screams, "Shes just a baby Brookelyn! Let her have the toy" Its pretty awesome. However, she had the parents all to herself before I came, so she can deal with a little revenge.
I'm pretty sure they won't have any more children. I'm good birth control. Whenever my mom sees a newborn and goes, "awwww look at that sweet angel!", I just tug at her leg, position my mouth on some exposed skin and chomp down as hard as I can. I leave teeth marks that last about a week. When she screams, it always sounds like she has seen a bear, then she says a bunch of words I'm not allowed to type. That will teach her to ever look at another baby. Together, world, we can keep her from letting dad knock her up. She didn't even know certain parts of her brain were capable of throbbing until I came along!!
When she complains, I just wanna say, "oh waaa, go call your pal, go cry it on the mountain, but I don't wanna hear it when I'm watching Blues Clues, shes so selfish sometimes!"
I love my family though, we are a fun bunch and Daddy loves his girls, all three of us. Enough cheese for ya?
