Today my mom would have been 51. She died when she was barely 40. It is hard to believe she was once someones little girl. Look how adorable she looks in her pretty dress. My granny took such pride in her 3 daughters. My mom was the baby. Sometimes, after someone has been gone for so long, we forget their legacy, their purpose. My mothers purpose was clearly to bring two daughters in to the world. If it weren't for her very precious life, I wouldn't be here carrying out mine. I wouldn't get to have my Brookelyn and Ashlee! I never would have met my Michael. I could be wasting my own legacy....but when I look at the beautiful pictures of my mother as a little girl......I can't help but think, "she had dreams too". She must have said what Brookelyn says to me, "I want to grow up and be a mommy or a princess or maybe a super hero". Certainly, my mother never said, "I want to struggle, and die young". I know that there are purposes to live. Losing someone so close at such a vulnerable age has taught me to love harder and more often. My fear of more loss is often debilitating, but then I remember I'm here to carry out my mom's dreams, my dreams, and set the foundation for my daughters dreams. I get the luxury of supporting my husband's dreams and feeling the sense of pride that only I can have for him.So, lets all say Happy Birth-Day for my mom who doesn't get to eat cake today, or let me take her to lunch and eat tacos, or have her grand-daughters draw her pictures for her fridge........we are left to celebrate for her in honor of her.
