Diva's Turn 30?

Haha, so I'm so far from being a diva. I ruin "upside down" by Diana Ross but nail Belinda Carlisle 'heaven is a place on earth'. Thats diva-ish right? No?
Heres how my birthday weekend went. Got up Sat. morning and drove to my nephew's 1st b-day party. I was sooooooooo tired but lunch and cake was served, so I quickly got high. A few hours later I had a dinner in on honor of little me for turning 30 at my fav. place on earth in Fort Worth. I know, fort worth fort worth fort worth- snob for life. It was great, my friends and sisters spoiled me. My dad and younger sis flew in from CA. The next morning we were all at church and then lunch to celebrate my Grandma's 80th. THEN, we drove to Austin Monday b/c Michael had some meeting there on Tuesday. I figured we should all go b/c the thought of waking up on my bday in god forsaken Houston staring at the four walls of this cookie cutter rent house sent chills down my spine. Yes, get me to the nicest hotel we can find and let me eat cookies in bed. All of this was fine and dandy until M had to go to his meeting, b/c then I was on my own w/ the girls in downtown Austin. We must have walked a million miles. I don't have anything against walking. There are legless people who would have loved to have done that much walking. But - doing it pushing two kids in a one seater stroller uphill and back down and around streets I was unfamiliar with, lost, etc.. well the fun sort of got sucked out of the day. Heres a list-
-Brookelyn fell off a brick wall and scuffed up her cheek pretty back - and limped for a while
-Ashlee was fussy during the imax film
_Brookie was freaked out by the imax film
-We left film early
-It took 45 minutes to find a place to eat- but it was good food
-Ashlee cried until the food came, really loud, embarrassing!!
-B kept getting too tired to walk, so I stuffed her underneath the stroller where the bags go
- B got annoyed from being cramped
- My head was spinning
- Ash had smeared chocolate all over my pants, right near my crotch
- Ash finally fell asleep and B played in the dirt in the park in front of the State Capital
- Then we walk the 8 miles (dramatic) back to car
- We get to gas station to vacuum the mess out of the car, and get a car wash and both malfunctioned on me
SERIOUSLY? ITS MY BIRTHDAY, THROW ME A BONE!! So I got my refund, got my husband and said "I physically can't drive"
Then Ash starts her wailing again. B starts yelling at her. "Daddy MAKE THE BABY STOP!!" I finally scream "Michael, stop at the next Mc Donalds I'm getting this damn baby some damn mcnuggets!!"
Michael said, "Are you serious, you want me to exit"
Me, "Yes, I'm getting junk food for everyone and it better make everyone in this car happy."
Houston to DFW to Austin to Houston- what were we thinking? Oh well, I guess I could have been vacuuming 12 times at home instead right?
Now that I'm home, you'd think the annoyance would have gone away. However, after calling Michael, thinking he was close to being home so I could go get the cranky baby her milk, he tells me hasn't even left work. WHAT NOOOOOOOOOOOO. TODAY IS NOT THE DAY TO HEAR THAT. I think I said "ugh Jesus!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" and hung up. I know I know, stop saying Jesus. You have no idea what reference I'm using it in.
Then I see 6 paper airplanes in my backyard and kids on the other side of the fence playing. They resemble hood rats in training. So I go back there in a rampage, pick them all up and chunk them at the kids on the other side of the fence and say 'KEEP YOUR F-ING PLANES ON YOUR SIDE OF THE FENCE!'
I come inside and wonder 'where is candice?' What is wrong with me? Did I really just do that? Was that anger for Michael? Did I want to chunk them at his head? They were paper not stones, so that doesn't make sense.
Bottom line, its boring here, it is sucky and my energy is not used well here (obviously). Luckily, my in laws are coming tomorrow and I can escape and be alone.
Just another day at the Candyland resort. Your postcard is coming.