Bee's Wax

So, as many of you know, I am an avid writer. Some people think it is great, while others think it is strange, and few probably think it is cheesy. However, I never sit down to write and think, "oooh I wonder what so and so will think of this one!". I have always felt it is a channeling process, it is about me, my perspective of my own life, so I thought it would be fun to flip through my VERY large binder and take random lines out and type them here- from various writings. Don't call them poems, that makes me feel hokey.

"i'm praying. i'm crying. i'm reaching. i'm falling"- 1992- from Inside Is A Child

"can you still love me though I do not bring grief"- 1993- from Our Religion

"and you would think my everlasting love would be enough to heal your broken heart"- 1994-from The Only Way Of Life

"but do not trust old vows"- 1995- from Welcome To My Childhood

"but look at mother's face, shes hurt, shes still crying"-1994- Out To Play

"and she needed to be held" 1995 She Was Sick

"and the spirit of lies dies where we subject it to its last meal" 1995 Trust

"tiny private rooms within my heart, all locked up" 1997 In Memory Of (from my very first writing after my mom died)

"its hard to recollect safe breathing in a house where no one is really living" 1996 Not Finished With My Purpose

"my only ambition for survival" 1998 Reservations

"her face, it lit, glowing, painted with Heaven" 1998 My Energy

"small rarities beneath my hair" 1998 Gratitude

"its like baby tears stuck to my palm" 1998 Gone With Me

"I never saw her leaving" 1999 Has Your Back Bruised Yet

"or drown you in a pool of envy" 1999 Some Of That

"i talk like you're in here" 2000 Surviving You

"because, together, we never die from a well thought out fight" 1999 Fighting

"boots without their people and love so sick" 1999 Up Out Of You

"because I have mistaken this for life" 2000 First Row

"planet oblivion, well its home to me" 2001 Oblivion part one

"beautiful girl, you must have been someones favorite baby" 2001 My Perfect You (writing for kristyns graduation)

"and eyes blazing with hell" 2001 Struck

"I left you lying there, a lifeless body. Blood unsettled and skin warm. I signed by the X" 2002 My Skyless World (a heart wrenching account of me and the hospital experience where my mother died)

"I go down with bruised knees, swollen eyes, sore thighs" 2002 Hatred's Singing (my impression of my mothers life at one point)

"we paint a pretty picture when the calm sets in" 2002 Happy Heaven

"a love so constant I had to rub my eyes" 2002 The Morning Mother

"I admired her for her magnetic, poetic inspiration. She found Jesus everywhere"2002 Thanksgiving In March

"he played the piano with his knuckles" 2002 Water Globe (it was for my dad)

"some might say i have fallen from the sky into love" 2004 Born Again (for miss B)

"hope has delivered itself" 2003 Precious Angel (right after Miss B's birth)

Well I see there is a gap in time and this binder is in no condition to be organized. This was only a tiny portion of the archive. I am getting tired of this, and its a little like reading an old journal, so sometimes, not so much fun. I'll have to find the more recent, less sad ones.