Never trust a big butt with a smile

Per Amber's request, a new blog.
So I was in car on way the way to hair appt and that dumb song we all liked in 1991 "Poison" came on by Bel Biv Devoe.
The funniest part of the song is "Never trust a big butt with a smile"
That is so me! I'm always smiling! My butt has always been big, even when it wasn't. They sing this one line w/ such conviction too. I can't get it out of my head.

Also, recently had an bizarre dream about my biological father. One might wonder how do I dream about a ficticious character. Do you dream about people that don't really exist? Probably not. Since I have never really dreamt about him and since it was such a deep and personal dream, only one conclusion can be drawn. My mother, yes, my mom, in Heaven slipped him in to my subconscious for one reason-- she is sick of being blogged about. Shes like, "Seriously Candice, pick a new topic, blah blah blah dead mom this dead mom that"
The dream had me all messed up that I wrote a long email to my sister who shares this bio-dad with me. Then I called her at dinner time. She is all mystical and stuff so she didn't dismiss it one bit. We got into one of our deep sylvia brown talks about it. Damn. I just want to forget what sperm I came from and then suddenly I'm dreaming about she and I taking him to some fancy, normal dinner and hes acting all fatherly. WTF. Jen and I both read a lot in to these type dreams. We are so much alike its freaky. Its not like we are alike in the sense we both like pizza and songs from the 80s. We are alike in ways that are hard to put in to words, if that makes sense. It confirmed for me that sometimes "nurture" is not what makes a person, that a great deal of "nature" does indeed make a person. But, I've derailed. So then I woke up from that dream with this voice in my head saying all day long how he "sperm father" needs love too. I asked Jen is that what people mean when they said God has spoken to them, b/c I thought it was called Schizoaffective disorder or something. I mean these were clear words. Any more words that clearly being put into my head and I am fo sho checking into a hospital. I agree w/ the words, I would never dispute another human needing love, but from me?? What on earth for? Thanks for the blue eyes but I have a life to live. If you knew this character I am speaking of, you'd know I have no gravity towards him. I've never longed for his love b/c I have a dad. My dad is the one I continue to love b/c thats what you do, you love your parents unconditionally, no matter what. How do you love a sperm donor? Ok, ok, so my mom was married to him and they really "did it" and here I am.
Well, I might send him some updated pics of me and my girls. He might as well see the curls he gave my first born.
My poor girls! The stories I have to tell them as they grow up!