Dear Diary

As I prepare to leave in the early morning tomorrow, I am hit with the sudden urge to write one more blog. I am also hit with a small dose of anxiety and just recently in the last few minutes, an allergy attack. Oh well, the show must go on. Brookelyn is very excited and her smiles and anticipation have been my motivation. My kids will make me normal, just wait and see. I've only been a mommy for 4.5 years and it feels like forever b/c it has been the best 4.5 years of my 30 years thus far. If they can normalize me this much in four years, think about how painfully normal I will be in ten more! Perhaps you won't be able to handle it. What? You say you'll miss me calling you 'hooker' or 'snatch' like its just a regular greeting. That is because it is. My normal is always going to be off. I remember spending the night at my cousin's house when I was younger, not knowing that years later I would become a permanent resident, and I'd look around, and I'd ask her, "Is this it?". "You guys just eat dinner at the table together, talk to each the whole time, and play board games??" Board games are for closets only!-DUH "No one is yelling, why?" Not once did I hear someone slam the phone down, slam a door, call someone a mother f-er, break a dish......on someones head, call 911, call the county hospital. It was so NORMAL, I almost couldn't take it. "I mean like, when do we go into our room and isolate and listen to depressing music?" Why didn't anyone close their doors? This family knew nothing about privacy and I was CONFUSED. However, many times I wanted to stay longer, and other times I couldn't wait to get back to my mom. I was certain she couldn't survive without me. What if she falls asleep and I'm not there to nudge her? I can't stay at camp cousin's house playing 'go fish' all week!
Funny though, its where I ended up spending my last years as a child and tried my best to become a normal fixture in their home. It became my home and by the 2nd year I was coming out of my room a little more and conversing more. It is the home I grew out of youth and into the early years of adulthood. It is still the home I use as my crutches from time to time. Did you know I can show up unannounced on any given Saturday and someone (probably my uncle) will whip up pancakes and bacon? Its pretty much like IHOP and I'm not sure why I don't do it more often! No matter what the coffee is always brewing on a Saturday morning, a little weak, but thats ok, they will re-make it to my standards and pull out all of the creamers. FREAKY, FREAKY NORMAL PEOPLE!! They go all kinds of out of their way to show their love. Is it unconditional? I would think it would have to be. They didn't get that great of a tax cut for claiming me and they've invested more time and energy(and $$) than most people would on someone who is not a natural child.
I didn't mean to dive in to a piece of my history. It just happens. I start writing about my vacation and out pops a diary entry.